“I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m on My Way”- Carl Sagan

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Note: With the exception of spell-check, this article is completely unedited. Everything you see is exactly as I originally wrote it. 

Sometimes I think…

And I think

And think

…. And think.

About what I want to do with my life. What am I supposed to do with my life?

I have many interests. You know when you were at a carnival as a kid, and saw all these toys, and when you FINALLY won the toy, you wonder whether you could’ve gotten a bigger one? Or a better one?

This has always been my worry. I mean in life, not just at carnivals. 

I have many activities I am involved in, and love them all. I love violin. I love fashion. I love public  speaking. I love writing everything and anything. I also rediscovered my passion for acting recently after having been discouraged from school plays since my dormouse days in Alice in Wonderland. Did that sentence even make sense?

This is exactly my thought process. I can’t choose. Maybe I don’t have to choose one passion. I used to worry, worry, worry about the person I would be some day. 

Do you ever feel like you’re destined for something, but you just can’t quite put your finger on what it is?

Yeah. When I was in 5th grade, I was SET on being a fashion designer. I just knew that was my destiny. Could I sew? Nope. But that didn’t stop me from filling out hundreds of pages of sketch paper with outfit designs. 

And then came 9th grade, which, technically speaking, was last year. I had noooo idea what I was going to do with my life. I loved violin (still do), but I also loved fashion (STILL do). 

And I just couldn’t see myself doing both at the same time. 

So then I decided this year that I would want to become a musician. THAT would be my future. Playing lots of violin every day for the rest of my life. But becoming a musician is not that simple. You have to start preparing repertoire to audition to get into music conservatories in high school. You can’t make school or other activities your number one. 

And this kind of scared me. 

How the hell am I supposed to make school second? Drop my clubs? No AP classes? What if I go into music and realize it’s the wrong thing for me? 

In short, my thoughts became: OH NO WHAT IF I FAIL AT LIFEEEE????!!!!!

I immediately wondered if becoming a musician was the right thing for me. On one hand, I love music with all my heart, and I feel like I can communicate a story to an audience in ways that words can’t. But in other ways, I wonder if there’s something else out there for me. 

I also realized this wasn’t fair to myself. How could I lock myself into one thing? Why didn’t I let myself be imaginative and realize that I can do and be many things?
I let go of my fear of not knowing.

I was being way too closed off, and really just caging myself in. 

 I decided to stop worrying, and to just absorb everything that comes my way. I am going to be open to everything. 

I feel strongest in the arts, and the idea of coding and doing math and science sounds quite daunting. 

But who knows? I could end up being a computer scientist! Or a brain surgeon. I don’t know!

That’s okay. I accept that I do not know where I am headed. 

There’s this quote (not my own, idk who said this) that always reminds me to chill: 

  
Be inspired! Take in everything you can! I hope that if you are feeling  confused about what you want from life, you know you’re never alone 🙂

 Wishing you a lovely week!

Love, 

Luisa

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Weekend Wandering: Lulu Gloss takes Pike Place Market!

Travel

Happy New Year!

On the second day of 2016, aka the second-to-last day of winter break, 10 am, the Rodriguez family was headed across the 520 bridge, minivan-style. I live for random trips like these.

 
Finally tried piroshky! I always hesitated to buy some because of the lines, which run out the door on a daily basis. Let’s just say that the line is sooo worth the wait. 

Oh, and shoutout to the awesome accordion guy who serenaded us with pop songs-he was really into his music! 👏👏👍

  

Found this little cafe called Ghost Alley Espresso  and had THE BEST chai latte in the world. Seriously, go there. The people are so friendly and the coffee is amazing! (This isn’t a picture of the shop though, just a cool design on a warehouse door in Ghost Alley)

My brother, Tanner, wearing a Macklemore-inspired coat in Ghost Alley.

  Visited the (somewhat) clean Gum Wall for the first time! Note to self: bring gum next time 😋

 Tanner peering over Elliott Bay. 

  
A little nod to Gerard Tsutakawa, who sculpted this awesome bolt of lightning 👋🏼
For me, the New Year is about trying new things and adding a healthy dose of spontaneity to your calendar! Have an awesome 2016 everyone!

Love, 

Lulu Gloss

Unedited, No Filter, No Makeup

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As the year wraps up, I’m starting to understand myself more and more. I won’t make any promises or resolutions to myself. That’s not fair. I’m human, and I’m changing constantly. I hope to become more sophisticated in my language. I’ve always hoped to be like that. On Christmas Day, I had the lovely opportunity to see one of my grandma’s closest friends: Rose Marie. She is so elegant. Probably one of the most lovely women I’ve ever met. She is so gracious and has such a regal air about her. She inspired me with every word she said that evening. I don’t think it was even what she said. You can just tell she genuinely loves life and that she is comfortable with herself. I hope in 2016 I can be more like her: appreciative and loving of life. More present and engaged. 

I won’t make a resolution. I will work every day to be more mindful of my words, of my behavior, and of my actions.  Earlier this year, I was really into posting pretty pictures on Instagram. Food, things, scenery, you name it. It made me happy to post these things. Recently, I posted something of that kind: my lunch. Probably 10 minutes after posting that, I started to feel a bit sad. Maybe sad is too strong of a word. You know when you listen to some music-specifically the first movement of Bach Sonata No. 1-and there’s something underlying in the melody that’s a bit melancholic? Yes. Melancholy is the word I was reaching for. I felt melancholic after posting a picture of my lunch, some strawberry water, and my purse. I felt emptier than the substance of that photo. I deleted the picture, and instantly felt whole again. Strange, huh? Well, at that moment, I realized that posting those pretty things no longer makes me happy. It makes me feel hollow and narcissistic. 

I want to post real things. Experiences, people I love, places I love. I want to live and be present. I want to look at my food and pretty things and appreciate them for what they are. I don’t want to obsess over and make more of these items-this stuff-than they are. 

In 2016 I will be more alive. I will live. I won’t resolve to do things. I will simply be. I will strive and achieve. And that is enough. 

#TrendingTuesday: Is It Real?

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They say not to believe everything you see on the Internet. 

That the Internet is not reality.

Let’s talk about Instagram. Is it real? Are the colorful, visually appealing pictures on a person’s feed their world? 

The answer is no. The truth is, we only post what we want the world to see. We don’t snap pics of our faces at 1 am while we study for chemistry tests. 

But does that mean that what I  choose to show my followers is a lie? 

Think about it. 

Today I am going to share some things that I wouldn’t usually post on my Instagram.

About 6 weeks before this, you wouldn’t know that I stayed up till midnight almost every night to prepare for violin auditions. I didn’t show you the hours I stayed up with my violin and metronome, when everyone in my house was asleep. (I love my violin, but when it’s 11 and I still have to practice another hour, sleep is the only thing on my mind.)

I don’t show you my undereye circles, which keep getting darker.  

I didn’t show you the three breakdowns I have had just in the past few weeks of school over all the stress and pressure to do well, not just in school but in every aspect of my life. 

I am tired. 
And I still haven’t said everything going through my mind. Because it’s hard to talk about our problems.

But does that mean the photos I do post are fake? Are we all phonies?

I don’t think so. We post what we love. We post our passions- things that we can look at, no matter what it is, and feel an emotion. Happy? Inspired? It’s up to the person. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself, online and in real life.

When I post pictures on social media, I hope I can connect with someone. I try to post things that are colorful, fun, and remind me of my dreams.  I love fashion. I love music. I love my friends, my family, and life. In being true to myself, I hope that what I offer can inspire someone else to go after their goals, whatever those may be.  

We post what we want the world to see. 

What kind of message are you sending? ❤ 

  

Instagram: @lovelulugloss

Black and Pink.

Style

  
After years of defying the trend, I have finally worn leggings as a fashion statement. There. I said it. 

I am usually not one to jump on a trend bandwagon, but leggings are here to stay, so I guess it’s time to denounce my aversion to them! 

Tell me what YOU think of leggings- love them or hate ’em? Comment below!

💄❤️😈

Follow me on Instagram: @lovelulugloss