Letting Go of It

Musings


Why is it that we hold on to the things we no longer want?

Is it because we hold sentiment and carry memories with it?

Do we actually really want it? 

I’ll let you interpret what “it” is, maybe something going on in your life.

Maybe we’re afraid we won’t find something better. Maybe we think we’d better hold on because something this great won’t ever come by again.

But the truth is, you can never find what might be better, more suited to you, more rare, if you only search and cling on to what you know.

Never settle for anything that doesn’t bring you joy or excite you about life.

I hope that one day you will find the spectacular, miraculous “it”.

I know you will.

Poem For Someone

Hot Topics

You are all that you need.

I am my strength, 

I am my uplifting spirit. 

I am the greatness I seek. 

I am strong,

 I am independent, 

and I stand for what I believe.

 I used to rely on you

To tell me that I was good.

That I worked hard enough.

I wanted that validation.

I don’t know if I will ever make you proud enough
To see all I do

And not have to criticize it after

Or count each measure

To make sure I’m perfect
Because I know I will never be

Perfect enough
But enough is perfect for me.
I know my self-worth

And I know who I am.
I know I don’t owe you anything

And you won’t understand
How much pain it used to cause me

When I was always searching 

For that glimmer of approval

In your eyes 
But I’m stronger now

And I don’t need you now.
I am more powerful than ever before
And Ive accepted that you can’t recognize 
That I am perfect enough

Perfect enough for me. 

Copyright Luisa C. Rodriguez 2016

“I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m on My Way”- Carl Sagan

Hot Topics

Note: With the exception of spell-check, this article is completely unedited. Everything you see is exactly as I originally wrote it. 

Sometimes I think…

And I think

And think

…. And think.

About what I want to do with my life. What am I supposed to do with my life?

I have many interests. You know when you were at a carnival as a kid, and saw all these toys, and when you FINALLY won the toy, you wonder whether you could’ve gotten a bigger one? Or a better one?

This has always been my worry. I mean in life, not just at carnivals. 

I have many activities I am involved in, and love them all. I love violin. I love fashion. I love public  speaking. I love writing everything and anything. I also rediscovered my passion for acting recently after having been discouraged from school plays since my dormouse days in Alice in Wonderland. Did that sentence even make sense?

This is exactly my thought process. I can’t choose. Maybe I don’t have to choose one passion. I used to worry, worry, worry about the person I would be some day. 

Do you ever feel like you’re destined for something, but you just can’t quite put your finger on what it is?

Yeah. When I was in 5th grade, I was SET on being a fashion designer. I just knew that was my destiny. Could I sew? Nope. But that didn’t stop me from filling out hundreds of pages of sketch paper with outfit designs. 

And then came 9th grade, which, technically speaking, was last year. I had noooo idea what I was going to do with my life. I loved violin (still do), but I also loved fashion (STILL do). 

And I just couldn’t see myself doing both at the same time. 

So then I decided this year that I would want to become a musician. THAT would be my future. Playing lots of violin every day for the rest of my life. But becoming a musician is not that simple. You have to start preparing repertoire to audition to get into music conservatories in high school. You can’t make school or other activities your number one. 

And this kind of scared me. 

How the hell am I supposed to make school second? Drop my clubs? No AP classes? What if I go into music and realize it’s the wrong thing for me? 

In short, my thoughts became: OH NO WHAT IF I FAIL AT LIFEEEE????!!!!!

I immediately wondered if becoming a musician was the right thing for me. On one hand, I love music with all my heart, and I feel like I can communicate a story to an audience in ways that words can’t. But in other ways, I wonder if there’s something else out there for me. 

I also realized this wasn’t fair to myself. How could I lock myself into one thing? Why didn’t I let myself be imaginative and realize that I can do and be many things?
I let go of my fear of not knowing.

I was being way too closed off, and really just caging myself in. 

 I decided to stop worrying, and to just absorb everything that comes my way. I am going to be open to everything. 

I feel strongest in the arts, and the idea of coding and doing math and science sounds quite daunting. 

But who knows? I could end up being a computer scientist! Or a brain surgeon. I don’t know!

That’s okay. I accept that I do not know where I am headed. 

There’s this quote (not my own, idk who said this) that always reminds me to chill: 

  
Be inspired! Take in everything you can! I hope that if you are feeling  confused about what you want from life, you know you’re never alone 🙂

 Wishing you a lovely week!

Love, 

Luisa

Weekend Wandering: Lulu Gloss takes Pike Place Market!

Travel

Happy New Year!

On the second day of 2016, aka the second-to-last day of winter break, 10 am, the Rodriguez family was headed across the 520 bridge, minivan-style. I live for random trips like these.

 
Finally tried piroshky! I always hesitated to buy some because of the lines, which run out the door on a daily basis. Let’s just say that the line is sooo worth the wait. 

Oh, and shoutout to the awesome accordion guy who serenaded us with pop songs-he was really into his music! 👏👏👍

  

Found this little cafe called Ghost Alley Espresso  and had THE BEST chai latte in the world. Seriously, go there. The people are so friendly and the coffee is amazing! (This isn’t a picture of the shop though, just a cool design on a warehouse door in Ghost Alley)

My brother, Tanner, wearing a Macklemore-inspired coat in Ghost Alley.

  Visited the (somewhat) clean Gum Wall for the first time! Note to self: bring gum next time 😋

 Tanner peering over Elliott Bay. 

  
A little nod to Gerard Tsutakawa, who sculpted this awesome bolt of lightning 👋🏼
For me, the New Year is about trying new things and adding a healthy dose of spontaneity to your calendar! Have an awesome 2016 everyone!

Love, 

Lulu Gloss

#TrendingTuesday: Is It Real?

Hot Topics

  
They say not to believe everything you see on the Internet. 

That the Internet is not reality.

Let’s talk about Instagram. Is it real? Are the colorful, visually appealing pictures on a person’s feed their world? 

The answer is no. The truth is, we only post what we want the world to see. We don’t snap pics of our faces at 1 am while we study for chemistry tests. 

But does that mean that what I  choose to show my followers is a lie? 

Think about it. 

Today I am going to share some things that I wouldn’t usually post on my Instagram.

About 6 weeks before this, you wouldn’t know that I stayed up till midnight almost every night to prepare for violin auditions. I didn’t show you the hours I stayed up with my violin and metronome, when everyone in my house was asleep. (I love my violin, but when it’s 11 and I still have to practice another hour, sleep is the only thing on my mind.)

I don’t show you my undereye circles, which keep getting darker.  

I didn’t show you the three breakdowns I have had just in the past few weeks of school over all the stress and pressure to do well, not just in school but in every aspect of my life. 

I am tired. 
And I still haven’t said everything going through my mind. Because it’s hard to talk about our problems.

But does that mean the photos I do post are fake? Are we all phonies?

I don’t think so. We post what we love. We post our passions- things that we can look at, no matter what it is, and feel an emotion. Happy? Inspired? It’s up to the person. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself, online and in real life.

When I post pictures on social media, I hope I can connect with someone. I try to post things that are colorful, fun, and remind me of my dreams.  I love fashion. I love music. I love my friends, my family, and life. In being true to myself, I hope that what I offer can inspire someone else to go after their goals, whatever those may be.  

We post what we want the world to see. 

What kind of message are you sending? ❤ 

  

Instagram: @lovelulugloss